Don't ask. Or, reasoning.

Got nothing but time on our hands
Sometimes it still does ruin my day
Can this be my sign?
"Dont ask."
I want to be better.
I want to do it right, but right by whom?
Am I justified or simply making excuses?
I want to honor that, something special.
I know the difference but I am the only one here.
I am the only one here.
Catching up, catching up...
Waiting for the momentum to sweep me back into action, conviction, attention.
Waiting for the pendulum to bring me clarity.

Resolution.
I am surprised that despite some dissolution, still a tenuous outcome.
I am somehow pleased, as if it's a job well-done.
It isn't.
I remember my bedside prayer for you and shake my head.

"I can't force these eyes to see the end."
Find a goal, then.
Find an outcome, however dubious at least it's a plan.
A target, a path, a reason for this bloodshed.
If it's gonna hurt, at least tell me why.