Jacob.

Oh God, her name.

My kingdom and all its glory for her name.

I swore I would never forget, after reading it so many times.

I would never forget...

And here I am, like a goldfish in its crystal bowl.

Wishing I could remember as if it would mean something.

As if somehow her impact on me would translate into 

His impact on the world.

As if I could play proxy for her hopes and dreams and that if I could

Keep that candle bright, 

That flame a-stoked, 

That it would make it real for her.

I want to reach out, 

To remind her it was real for me, too.

That I would keep a cold guard at the door of his tomb,

Witness to his miracle and tragedy.

And somehow burn bright that hope in the sky above 

To save us both.

If only I could remember...

A gift.

This is a gift,
And it comes with a price,
She said.
Who is the darkness,
And who is the light.
Breathe carefully,
You're holding my last cache captive.
My simple faith and real release
Both dance just at my fingertips.
I see it everywhere, you know.
A sack-clothed figure stooped over a bus bench,
A gold and crimson flash.
He crooks a narrow finger at me
And I keep shaking and smiling my head away.
I breathe carefully.
Keep watch closely.
February's crows beat their black wings at my doorstep
But I keep my hands clean.