Impact.

Competed with myself.
I always push too hard, and should have known better
Than to race my better judgement to some
Invisible finish line.
It's never enough, you see.
I drink from a firehose, and don't say "It's enough" because it never is.
Until I finally stop and look around to find I've
Already drowned.
"Who are you enough for?"
Rang out between my ears
Thought I had a better grip on my own fate
I just wanted some impact,
Didn't quite expect how heavy the fallout would be.

Ticking breeze

Beat by beat

We find some ticking time

Each of us waiting for the bomb

To drop. 

Dance some wicked tango

Meant to try to keep us safe

Safe from sadness and regret and some

Measure of heartbreak.

Beat by beat

Our footsteps sync in time.

No matter how we wander

Keep drifting back in line.

I hope you understand

I don’t know which way this goes 

All I can ever focus on is

What’s right before my toes.

Beat by beat 

More and more. 

Patience trust and courage 

Tell me it’s all worth it 

Not even in the end, but just for now.

I try to do one thing that frightens me.

Every day.

And then someday,

Being in love won’t frighten me so much.

Fell.

I went out.
I was looking for answer.
Something to fill a hole, I was.
Found something to be interested in.
Someone to teach me something.
I breathe in, and breathe hard
And open wide.

These violent delights
Meet violent dreams
and send us to violent ends.
Your violet breaths keep me
ever captivated.

Would you ever breathe with me?
A little of the space between
And I'm ever kept adrift.

Oh, how I fall.

It Breaks.

It breaks.
We break.
We try so hard to put to back together,
I know you do.
You know it's worth it.
I know I'm not.
Or - that you and I just aren't the same.
"I'm just not into you."
I want to say.
"I made a mistake"
I had to say it over and over and
You still believe in my goodness and perfection and a
version of me that I don't wanna be and so
Lie
or subvert the truths
We've always told
the ones that made so much sense in that moment
we just always loved so
hard we could fracture our dreams for your
Hap
Pi
Ness
And weren't you happy?
After it all didn't you
Succeed?
Cause when the end comes and we add up the score of
Yours minus mine
Then it's all been worth it we both end on top.
We both win
We're both on a team
We.
Both.
Win.
Something.

Right?