February.

It... isn't me.
Don't take it personally.
I get it, I can probably be intimidating
I'm not doing it the way you want it done,
So I'll take a step back.
Do my time and earn some small-town respect.
The only time you all have seen me show my stuff,
It wasn't my best.
I'm not my best these days,
And maybe as such I'm not the right person for this job.
I get it.
I gotta earn my stripes.
You were so willing to hand things off,
I just figured I could take it and run with it.
I didn't think you'd still micromanage
And hit me with a bap on the head just to put me in my place.
It's ok.
I don't take it personally.
You've fought hard to get here.
But - so have I.
I'm good at rules, at playing the game.
I'll play it all the way down.
I didn't get to run two extremely successful independent troupes
By fucking up.
But you can't see that.  And, I wouldn't trust me either.
But maybe too, maybe this isn't the best time for me to be taking on such an ambitious project.
Maybe you shouldn't be talking behind my back.
So. Many. Frustrated.
And so many anxious at 6am.
My usual 6am anxiety reeling its ugly head.
Maybe it's time for some 6am wine.