Twenty-Five, still.

Talking, living loving.
Brightening red neon sparkles by my ear,
Bug buzzing through my head -
Reminding me.
Always your reminder,
Oh yeah.
Here we go again.
Again and again.
Another 4 months of
Uncertainty, of no energy
Uncertainty, no energy.
No faith, dim reality
Like the light
Just turned off.
Like love
Flies out the door.
Tragedy, insanity, lost youth and infamy.
I'd be famous if it wasn't for January.
Or was it December, the year before?
Red light street screaming in my ears, whining
For attention, affection,
Go away.
Go Away
Here it comes, that endless ache and all too familiar smell
And bottomless bottomless need.
I go alone in a crowd, unsure and unsung
Petulant, untrusting.
I find a halting rhythm but it stops.
It always stops.
The price to pay for burning too bright.
Ten years of winter, I'm still here in terror.
My bravery faltering, my confidence crumbling with the frost.
Poor little pumpkin, will you survive, this time?
I shiver with the leaves, my colors changing too.