I have always.

Two steps forward
Three steps back
Fourth step sideways and
Throw it all away
It just takes one bad day
One wrong move
One.
Too.
Many.
Nothing to say, nothing that
Could ever help but that
I know.
More than any of us should,
I know.
And while it would be more awful than anything I could imagine,
While my every day would be darker, the whole world lose a layer of meaning that I would never get back.
Despite all of that,
I would understand.
God knows how I would understand.